Bent and screwed over!!!!!

Yeah I said it.

I was screwed over cause I wasn't bent enough. Bent meaning gay enough!!! What the hell I hear you say. Well you heard correct, I wasn't gay enough, stud enough, lesbian enough to fit the criteria of a photo website. Ok here's the deal, went out with a few of my (gay) boys to a gay club to have a night out only to find the the club had turned into a ghetto, nasty rass, Compton wannabe, don't know what gender you are, gynecologist waiting room place of recreation.  I couldn't believe how much the place had changed and how many vaginas were in one room!!!! Where were all the fierce men gone?????

Anyway back to the story in hand, So I'm on the dance floor now vogue-ing out to Single Ladies to see a colorful dude come up with camera ready to America's Next Top Model my arse. Me being the reluctant woman I am, I hid shyly from the camera not ready for my close up to find my boys pulling me into the center cheesing harder than Edam. I had no lip gloss on so my lips must of been as dry as crisp bread and I was sweated out like my name was Jennifer Beals. Not a good look!!! Anyway, smiling with all the fakeness I could muster I took the pic, finally saw the result which was actually festive. Then Color me badd tells me that the pics will be on the website, gave me his card and sashayed off into the moon light. Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, let me tell you, Home girl here tried with all her might to get these pictures. I even registered on the frikken websites, downloaded some Mac bullshit only to find out that the pictures didn't even make the website!!!!!!!! I was hurt!!!! what was wrong with me????Didn't I look lesbian enough??? Did I not hang my legging down enough?? Did I not scowl enough???? I was officially a rainbow reject!!!! I was now the Zippy in the Bungle and Geoffrey relationship!!! (English people know what I mean)

P.S. I'm as straight as Indian hair, btw.

Here's some edited convo from my girl ReRe's first experience over here when approached:

Girl: Are you gay? Cause I find you very attractive. You look bored over here drinking your Smirnoff Ice.

ReRe: No thanks, I'm as straight as an arrow.

Girl: Oh well, I'm bent.

ReRe: Ok, well you can just curve your way back around that frikken corner, Hows about that yeah? hows about that!

Sex, Love & Money vs Pussy, Weed, Money

Lay back and relax your mind

I'm bout to double the doses in half the time

Ha! Master physical, master mind

You play it quiet but in private that ass is mine, huh!

We body rockin the last of time - 'Sex, Love & Money' Mos Def

When i hit it, She squint like them orient Asians

I do me, I say Hey miss Chung Lee i like to see your booty

Roll like sushi, I'm trynna dip my celery up in her blue cheese - 'Pussy, Weed, Money' Lil Wayne

Ok, theme of the topic today is, is there 2 types of men? 

The Sex, Love & Money type or the Pussy, Weed, Money type. I don't associate them  with the terms "The Gentleman and The Thug" Puhlease!!! Too cliche ( I actually know a child called Cliche. True stories.  What the fuck was her mother smoking??? Nouns??) Anyhoo, back to the subject in question, I have this debate going on in my head about the former and the latter as in todays view of the black male, they have been stripped down to two categories. 

The personification of the black male is no longer predetermined on his morals and ideals but actually on his status and material assets. When has the black man become one-sided? Did I forget to read that memo in my email junk? funny enough I was asked the same question by two black males yesterday.. "How do I approach a woman to let her know that I am into her?" I replied straight up with no tongue twisting or air to fill in between "With humor and confidence" they seemed perplexed at an answer so simple. Did they think there was more to it? Or maybe they thought there was only two types of women?? "But they don't notice the gentleman, its all about the dude with the money and swagger" were the words that fell out of their traps.

I ERGHED then relayed my point to them, did they really assume that there is only 1 type of woman? I was astonished and bewildered at how colored their vision was. Was "WE" as women only subjected as one facet?? Oh hell no!! I had to bring them back to school and educate them on the many regions of a females personality and what she stands for. Never that!! Which got me thinking..

  I will now never judge a book by his cover, I'll make sure I read the lining first!!!!

Queen B

Get a cute chick, face got potential

working with her little hips, waist like a pencil

know how niggas play you, but you know how 'Ye do

Say she love Beyonce, So let me upgrade you

Spanish chick grab my chain, say is that "He-sus?'"

If I'm unfaithful, blame it on the Grey Goose

All my friends say implants is a selfish gift, they all up in

She ain't pregnant, but she about to have twins

Now, is it real love?, I need to ask cupid

She real smart, but her ass is stupid

And she gon' finish school and get all type of degrees

But I bet she never had them D's......       Kanye West 'Throw some D's remix"

Once upon a time there was a princess, lets call her Princess B. Well Princess B was always ahead of other little girls ever since she was 10 years old. See, she had a special gift, more precious than she would ever realize, the gift was something she wished she didn't have because she stood out from the rest. Her parents tried to protect her gift as they knew later down the line people would try to take advantage of  this special gift. As the princess got older, she became a Queen. Upon this reign she realized to appreciate this gift that God gave her as many woman tried to imitate this gift, but fellow towns people could see the difference. Yep, she was proud of who she was because she was real.... A real Queen B.

P.S You don't need a fat booty to be beautiful, Booty ain't gonna feed your baby!

Bearded Lady

Ok, so here's the deal...I'm a newly single girl, not looking for a new dude anytime soon. But lately my eyes are starting to play tricks on me with the new dating scene. No, its not realizing that some guys are players and some girls are gold diggers, but that gay people are becoming straight!!!! What the fuck?!? Now last time I checked it was the in thing to be gay....Lindsay Lohan, Wanda Sykes, Lance bass and Mark from Westlife, the list could go on...........

I love my gay community and would fly the rainbow flag wearing my Christian Louboutins with great pride! (no pun included)

But hows about if you like boys, then you have a boyfriend, If you like girls then you have a girlfriend....but mixing up both is like mixing up custard with rice pudding (not a good look!)

Well anyhoo, If gay is the new straight then call me DYKE!!!!

Stay updated and creative!!! xxx

3 men and I ain't their baby!!!!

I don't know what else to do

Said fuck me, well fuck you too

I know it sounds real sad but true

Being alone is nothing new- Gnarls Barkley 'Whatever'

Its been interesting in this past week that the word Whatever has risen on numerous occasions out of the mouth of 3 men. 3 men that I have now parted ways with. 3 men that could not handle the aries in me. But do you know what? I will not apologize. I will say this though..."FUCK YOU!!" Awww, now that is what I call group therapy!!!

Stay updated and creative!!!!  xxx

Now why you wanna go and do that love, huh?

Ok, so this is my first attempt at blogging, cause my boy Donald Digital aka Donald Crunk gave me inspiration last night while gossiping on the phone. So I will put my manicured nails to this keyboard and I will let my mind control my fingertips.

Well as you can probably tell by the title I got my inspiration from Legendary Q-tip of A tribe called Quest from a line in his song as I saw him in concert last night.

Verdict: Aiight... I expected more from The Abstract and I am a lil disappointed as I always saw myself as Mrs Kamaal Fareed. Well if anything of last night was to go on, I am now divorced!!!! Common, I will now marry you!!!!!! Man had me surprised at how old he looked and that he had Man titties...What the heck!!!! My friends James and Mel kept saying that his boob bags were jiggling up and down like two balls on a hamsters wheel!! that wasn't just it though, I had to STAND through some shitty opening acts, what the cookie in the cookie jar was that about???? I didn't pay for my damn ears to bleed!!!! Anyhoo, I weren't too impressed with him, so I suggest his Quest has ended and his Tribe should go back to the village....

Stay updated and Creative, Till Quest time (Lol) Peace xxx