Bent and screwed over!!!!!

Yeah I said it.

I was screwed over cause I wasn't bent enough. Bent meaning gay enough!!! What the hell I hear you say. Well you heard correct, I wasn't gay enough, stud enough, lesbian enough to fit the criteria of a photo website. Ok here's the deal, went out with a few of my (gay) boys to a gay club to have a night out only to find the the club had turned into a ghetto, nasty rass, Compton wannabe, don't know what gender you are, gynecologist waiting room place of recreation.  I couldn't believe how much the place had changed and how many vaginas were in one room!!!! Where were all the fierce men gone?????

Anyway back to the story in hand, So I'm on the dance floor now vogue-ing out to Single Ladies to see a colorful dude come up with camera ready to America's Next Top Model my arse. Me being the reluctant woman I am, I hid shyly from the camera not ready for my close up to find my boys pulling me into the center cheesing harder than Edam. I had no lip gloss on so my lips must of been as dry as crisp bread and I was sweated out like my name was Jennifer Beals. Not a good look!!! Anyway, smiling with all the fakeness I could muster I took the pic, finally saw the result which was actually festive. Then Color me badd tells me that the pics will be on the website, gave me his card and sashayed off into the moon light. Welllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll, let me tell you, Home girl here tried with all her might to get these pictures. I even registered on the frikken websites, downloaded some Mac bullshit only to find out that the pictures didn't even make the website!!!!!!!! I was hurt!!!! what was wrong with me????Didn't I look lesbian enough??? Did I not hang my legging down enough?? Did I not scowl enough???? I was officially a rainbow reject!!!! I was now the Zippy in the Bungle and Geoffrey relationship!!! (English people know what I mean)

P.S. I'm as straight as Indian hair, btw.

Here's some edited convo from my girl ReRe's first experience over here when approached:

Girl: Are you gay? Cause I find you very attractive. You look bored over here drinking your Smirnoff Ice.

ReRe: No thanks, I'm as straight as an arrow.

Girl: Oh well, I'm bent.

ReRe: Ok, well you can just curve your way back around that frikken corner, Hows about that yeah? hows about that!